A Year of "Better"

When I started this blog a year ago, I thought what I needed to feel better about life was more structure, more clear goals, more tools in my tool belt...MORE! MORE! MORE! I was enjoying the act of writing several days a week, but the constant mindset of feeling like I wasn't DOING enough, LEARNING enough, SAVING enough, PROGRESSING enough felt less like growth mindset and more like a deficient mindset.

The problem with having a hyper growth mindset on top of a natural love of learning is that when you believe your abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, you're never going to be truly satisfied with anything that you accomplish. There should always be more to learn or achieve. Once you start to realize how little you actually know, your list of things to work on just keeps growing. If that's the case, will I ever believe that I'm enough as I am currently am?

When I hit publish on my first blog post, I was a month or two into a new corporate job, had just started training for my first marathon, and was still adjusting to my life in Madison, WI. My body was also beginning to feel like utter shit, but I was too busy working myself into a goal-setting and personal development frenzy that I didn't recognize the signs until my internal tissues and organs were being attacked...by itself.

I had so much internal drive and motivation, fueled by every top guru's personal development book, podcast, newsletter, and social media post and yet I couldn't figure out why my body was too exhausted to follow through with most of it. For my one regular reader (hi dad), you already know that Lupus ended up being the physical culprit and I'm now on meds that have changed my life in a matter of months.

But, this post isn't about Lupus, this post is about how I've found a very different version of "BETTER" than when I started this shebang last September. The issue in the end went back to my mental state - the physical stuff was just an outward, visual manifestation of the terrible shit I was mentally feeding myself.

A color coded Passion Planner.

Designated time blocks for reading and writing.

Detailed daily workout plans.

A water consumption tracker.

A daily expenses tracker.

Friends & Family social time SMART goals.

Professional SMART goals.

Relationship SMART goals.

Travel SMART goals.

Financial SMART goals.

Reading SMART goals...

Based on this list, I can honestly say that the last year has been a total failure.

Fortunately, I've also come to see that this list failed me from the beginning (with a lot of help from COVID-19 and an autoimmune disease).

Through these dozens of tracked goals, I was trying to maximize life and live to the fullest. All I was really doing was beating life down by placing far too much emphasis and value on what I could produce or create in 60 minute blocks of time. Do you know how much joy and spontaneity can be had in over-scheduled, color-coded, highly tracked and documented days? About as much as hitting your goal of drinking 62 ounces of water.

A lot of us thought that 2020 was going to be OUR BEST YEAR YET!!! We were going to show this new decade what we're really made of! Watch out Roaring 20's - it's going to be the start of regular flossing routines, learning how to make Tikka Masala at home, saving up for that first home, and dusting off the 'ol passport for that suntanned Bali adventure.

I know that maybe in 10-20 years, it would be interesting to go back and read some of my thoughts on living through COVID-19 and the Black Lives Matter movement/Trump2020 pandemic since it's an annoyingly historic time, but I'm too in the thick of it - just so incredibly drained from this polarized, aggressive, angsty, divisive, selfish, short-sighted, and bigoted life experience.

I just don't understand why saying that Black people's lives matter is controversial and how Dolly Parton has become the most sensible voice on the topic. It's all just become so maddening/confusing/dumb that it's hard to reason with this reality anymore. If we'd let the logical part of our brains look at what's happening right now, we could all easily recognize that Blue Lives Matter and Black Lives Matter and that police shouldn't shoot unarmed folks in the back while they're walking away and that while looting isn't cool, murder is less cool and that nobody is actively promoting abortions and that you can be a religious person and vote for someone who believes that women have the right to choose and that you can be a religious person and not vote for someone who tells you that you're going to hell if you support women's right to choose and that women's right to choose doesn't equal pro-abortion and that you can support legal immigration and also not condemn the undocumented and refugees and that because I want you to have obtained your gun legally doesn't mean I'm trying get my politicians to take away all of the guns.

I'm just so fucking mad/sad/bewildered/ashamed/embarrassed. Is critical thinking a thing of the past? Do you really think that suppressing others to keep yourself on top is going to keep America great...again?

Anyway.

Even though this year hasn't gone as expected for a single person on this planet, I'm both proud and guilty of the progress that I've been able to make due to the current circumstances. I wanted to write about them as a record for myself, but it also feels completely slimy to be documenting this while millions and millions of people are un/underemployed and struggling like hell to get through each month (financially, mentally, spiritually, physically). Although I may not be struggling financially, my emotional/mental/physical boats undoubtedly will be capsizing shortly.

One of the main lessons that I've really taken to this year is that I'm a lot more successful when I focus on one goal at a time and do things that I genuinely enjoy and care about. This year, that has meant honing in on my personal finances, contributing deeply at work, and learning about whatever I want to learn about through a lot of reading (47 books and counting!). Just a few of these things have been tracked and yet I feel like I'm seeing quicker progress than ever! Maybe having 65 separate goals isn't the best way to actually achieve anything.

After a year of following Dave Ramsey's baby steps, I paid off my last student loan and did my debt free scream. It was a bit premature as I was still in a regrettable car lease that I won't get out of until October 2020, but all of the debts that I could pay off were paid off. It's bonkers how quickly money adds up when you don't have a monthly $427 student loan payment and you've reduced all of your bills!

Since paying off my debts in December 2019 and starting fresh in January 2020, I have socked away $22,000 in savings and put away my very first $3,000 in my 401k. My goal is to have $30k in savings and $4,500 in my retirement by the end of this year. Fidelity Investments likes to remind me how I'm still years behind where I should be at 35 years-old, but I'm proud of the progress that I've made. If it weren't for my buckling down and getting serious about my money, I'd be paying off my student loans and my crappy car for another decade.

Baby Step 1: Save $1,000 for starter emergency fund ✔️

Baby Step 2: Pay off all debt (except the house) using the snowball method ✔️

Baby Step 3: Save 3-6 months of expenses in a fully funded emergency fund ✔️

Baby Step 3B: Save 10%-20% for a house down payment (in progress)

Baby Step 4: Invest 15% of your monthly income into retirement ✔️

Baby Step 5: Save for your children's college fund ✔️ (N/A)

Baby Step 6: Pay off your home early (N/A)

Baby Step 7: Build wealth and give (in progress)

Some things that have helped me this year (besides keeping my job and rarely leaving the house):

• I changed my cell phone plan from Credo Mobile ($85/month) to Mint Mobile ($20/month). My iPhone 6s was free from the carrier and even though the screen is now shattered, it has zero storage space left on it, and it no longer updates SW, it's good enough for me!

• My car insurance went from $45/month to $39/month, which will be going down to $0/month after I turn in my car and try out car-free living for awhile. I live three blocks from the office and will be working remotely for the foreseeable future, so no reason to pay for a vehicle right now. On another note, I miss public transportation.

• Car leases are a terrible, terrible idea. I currently pay $300/month for my basic edition 2017 Kia Sportage. I've been paying $300/month for the last four years. $300 x 48 months + interest = $14,698.55. My buyout price is $14,691. The residual value is currently $13,675. To fully own a 2017 Kia Sportage, I'd have to pay $29,389.55, which is 98 payments at $300 (8 years, people!). You know what is even more depressing? Paying $300/month for four years and then turning in the car with nothing to show for it - and having to pay a $299.71 fee so that you can turn in the car at the end of it's lease. 🤪 My next car will be used, paid for with cash, and will cost $5,000 or less.

• I take advantage of banking promo deals, like earning $400 for opening up a new checking account and direct depositing $4,000 into it within 90 days. I've already gotten $700 from this!

• I find free stuff. For example, Keller Williams recently offered a free real estate licensing program (normally $200-$300), so I signed up and passed the WI real estate exam this month. While I'm still not sure if I'll sign on with a broker and actually use the license, it was a really fun learning opportunity and now I have the option of getting into residential real estate if I decide the $2,500 start-up cost will be worth it. I've also been teaching myself bookkeeping with how-to books from the library so that I can eventually open up my own remote bookkeeping business.

• My eight-year-old laptop was donated to me and I'll use it until it hums it's last hot and wheezy breath.

• My main source of entertainment is free books/e-books from the library/libby app. My other source of entertainment right now is free podcasts + free neighborhood walks.

• I treat myself to one digital streaming service - Netflix at $9.48/month. Nick enjoys YouTubing for free. My TV is 10 years old and going strong! 🤞 Don't get me wrong though, I have used all of the free trials.

• I researched every single HR benefit where I work and have taken advantage of technology subsidies and the cell phone plan reimbursement. If approved, hopefully I'll also be enjoying the tuition reimbursement program for an MBA at UW-Whitewater in the next year or two.

• If it hasn't been budgeted for in the two-week pay period, it won't be purchased in that two-week pay period. Every dollar gets tracked and I don't go above the allotted amount.

• I don't have Amazon Prime or use Amazon. I rarely, if ever, shop online. In fact, besides groceries I rarely shop in-store. If I do shop online, I'll never buy something without a promo code or discount.

• I've stopped shopping at Whole Foods and the co-ops and have spent more time at Trader Joe's, Woodman's, and Aldi. While my food budget is still substantially higher than most families, I stick to $400/month (vegetarian+gluten free+dairy free is real expensive).

• Even after selling and donating half of my wardrobe, I still have many drawers and a closet full of trendy, fully functional clothing. I do not need more clothing than this. I do not want more clothing than this. Wearing the clothing that I already have helps my budget and the planet! You're not really leaving your house right now. Nobody cares what you look like. Ya know, shopping should really require more than one click. It's not going to make all of this external nonsense go away. Try calling a friend or going for a hike instead to help with your internal strife.

• I don't have a lot of extra costs as I don't have a spouse, children, or a house. Apartment living is affordable and I only have to clothe, feed, and entertain myself. I also live in the Midwest, and while Madison isn't especially affordable compared to many other Wisconsin cities, it's affordable compared to the coasts and larger metro areas.

• I prefer a more minimalist lifestyle and don't spend my discretionary income on knickknacks, home decor, or "stuff". If I'm buying it, it's going to have a clear value-add to my life and that value-add is going to be worth taking from my future financial goals of saving for a house, regular international travel, and a million dollar retirement nest egg. IKEA furniture will successfully hold up our lamps and TV until we can afford to upgrade from compressed wood chips.

• I budget for these value-add things every paycheck so that I never feel like I'm depriving myself after payday (which helps keeps me motivated to stick to my budget!).

• I fix broken stuff instead of replacing it. I also use things heavily until they break and don't replace things just because they're no longer en vogue. If I already have one, I probably don't need another one.

• I'm willing to wait until my birthday or Christmas if I think a value-add item could possibly be gifted to me.

• Water is a free beverage!!!

It's been a surprisingly enjoyable journey learning more about the psychology of spending and saving and the mindset that it takes to stick to a budget and personal financial goals. It's really an indescribable feeling having just a few bills each month that I have to cover and being able to put the rest away into savings, retirement, or sinking funds.

While I pray this doesn't happen, I wouldn't be totally screwed if I lost my job right now. I would have enough money to cover expenses for 18 months, which to me is invaluable. I'll say no to shit that I don't need for the next five years if it means that I can live my life on my terms, not bound to creditors and the fear of missed payments. Being debt-free and having some money in the bank means that I have a little bit more freedom of how I can spend not only my money, but my time. I can take more risks and chances and could even fail because I have a security blanket to fall back on in the form of an emergency fund.

If you ever want to talk to me about how to get on this same track toward time/money freedom, let me know. I'd love, love, love to sit down and talk about it with you (remotely or masked and distanced). 🤓