I'm becoming a Toastmaster!

There's a photo of me in an album somewhere in my mom's basement that brings me right back to that exact time and place. I remember that moment so vividly - and it just happens to be my first memory of public speaking as a child.

Third grade. 1993.

Barrie Elementary School.

Oh, the horror.

I haven't seen the actual photo in years, but I can still picture my bright red Limited Too brand sweatshirt, baggy jeans, high tops, and my red face, leaning so far backwards I might have been trying to disappear into the wall behind me.

I don't remember the exact objective of this particular science project, but I do remember feeling totally clueless about what I was supposed to make, and my parents providing me with zero suggestions. I ended up cutting the top off of a soda liter bottle, laying it sideways, and calling it a science project.

Before the project presentation, I remember everyone in my class talking crap about the cut up soda bottle during recess and throughout the day. I thought maybe I wouldn't have to admit that it was mine and that we could all just go on with our lives...but by the end of the day, we all had to present our science projects in the front the classroom.

My legs never felt heavier as my name was called and I was forced to take credit for this abomination of a homework assignment. I even got a photo to mark this proud moment for the rest of my life. Come on, mom and dad! How could you let your kid take the fall like this?! This is the best we could do?!

Anyway, since that mortifying third grade moment, public speaking really hasn't gotten much better for me, which is why I've decided to finally avenge my 8 year-old self and join Toastmasters.

If I ever return to my mom's house, I'll add that picture to this post and we can all have a good laugh.

What is Toastmasters?

Toastmasters International is a non-profit educational organization that teaches public speaking and leadership skills through a worldwide network of clubs.

Why Toastmasters?

Honestly, public speaking for me is both terrifying and totally exhilarating. I'm a natural story teller and love telling funny anecdotes to small groups, but when it comes to giving a prepared "speech" in front of an "audience," I psych myself out and create an inner narrative about how pathetic I'll be and how everyone is so much better at it than I am.

This of course, is not a great story to tell yourself before you get onto a stage or in front of a group of classmates or colleagues to present. Even if I was pretty good at public speaking, this terribly negative internal dialogue would fluster anyone. If I'm ever going to start working on my big goals of becoming a broadcaster or having a career in media, I've got to get a handle on my nerves, my confidence, and my judgmental inner critic.

And, it started last night with my first official icebreaker speech at Toastmasters. An icebreaker is the first speech in the pathway that I've chosen, which is a 4-6 minute presentation about who I am, why I've decided to join TM, and what my goals are with the group.

I was supposed to present before the new year, but then the meeting was re-scheduled for January 6th, so I had the entire holiday to amp up my nerves and over-rehearse the presentation. By the time the 6th came, my nerves were so shot that I was actually feeling pretty good!

For it being my very first Toastmasters speech, I was pretty pleased with the group feedback. If you've never been to a Toastmasters meeting, they are amusingly formal with lots of introductions, handshakes, and summaries. Each presenter receives one public review/critique by a member in front of all of the other members, as well as paper feedback forms from everyone.

I happily received all 8/10 and 9/10's! The consistent opinion was that my content was interesting, I was clearly excited to talk about it, and I had good eye contact. I also had oddly stiff hands that I didn't know where to put, walked around without purpose, and had bad posture when I was referring to my podium notes.

This is such motivating feedback as my actual content was entertaining and enjoyable - I just have to work on my body language and presence a bit, which is something that I feel I really can improve upon with time and experience.

Next up, a 6-7 minute speech about anything - but that I'll have to perform again in the future after taking the original feedback into consideration. Let's do this! 5-4-3-2-1 - BLAST OFF!

My First Icebreaker Script:

5-4-3-2-1 YES!

5-4-3-2-1 Blast off!

5-4-3-2-1 GO!

With some help from this silly countdown, I decided to stop getting in my way and stop letting fear make most of my decisions.

Today, I’m going to give you a quick peek into what made me start staying 5-4-3-2-1 YES.

About a year ago, I moved to Madison from Austin, TX with my partner, Nick, and my cat, Bitsy. We live down the street on E. Cheryl Parkway and are happily DINKS -

Dual Income - No Kids.

Since the only dependent I’ll ever have has 4 legs, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to build an adventurous and meaningful life that doesn’t revolve around raising tiny humans, but instead, around creating a level 10 life.

For me, that starts with saying YES.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’m a personal development junkie. I read 1-2 books a week about how I can improve all aspects of my life.

Although it was based on an incredibly simple concept (and probably should have just been a wikipedia entry), the book that has most positively impacted my mindset this year was Mel Robbin’s, The 5 Second Rule.

Before reading it, I already knew what the good choice to make was, what behaviors I should be doing to get closer to forming those healthy habits, but I didn’t quite have the discipline to put this into practice…or at least not often enough for it to make a real difference in my life.

I’d set my alarm for 6am and I’d snooze until 7:30.

I’d journal about my dreams of becoming a writer or broadcaster, but I was never writing content beyond my journal and had zero experience with radio or television, and no clue how to get it...and working at Promega clearly makes a lot of sense with this goal.

It’s funny now to think that I’m dreaming of a career that would require me to be a professional speaker. Just a few years ago while in grad school at Oregon State University,

I’d convinced myself that I had no right taking up space as a presenter in a classroom. I was very insecure and full of self-doubt.

I regularly looped a narrative in my head about how I was the most pathetic public speaker in our entire group, although to be honest, I’m not sure why this all started in the first place. To graduate, I was required to present everything I'd learned from the program in front of my committee and I tried to keep the time and location secret from my classmates and colleagues - I thought I was going to be so terrible that I didn't want anyone witness to it who didn't have to be.

Not long after leaving OSU, I went on to become an English teacher in rural Japan. The BEST thing that someone with a fear of public speaking can do is talk in front of groups of 16 year-olds who can’t understand a word you’re saying and avoid eye contact at all costs.

During this year of presenting lessons up to 5 times a day, my fear began to subside. I became more confident in being in front of a room, and I learned how to slow down and really E-N-U-N-C-I-A-T-E my words and ideas.

But when I left Japan and re-entered my old life in Milwaukee, some of those same feelings began to creep back in. That’s when I started reading books like The 5 Second Rule.

The 5 Second Rule is very simple. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds, or your brain will kill it.

There’s brain science to prove that counting down to 5 helps you FOCUS on the goal and DISTRACTS you from the worries and excuses going through your mind.

With the 5 Second Rule, I’ve finally been able to let go of the excuses.

I want to be a writer, so I created a blog and I post several things a week.

I want to be a millionaire, so I paid off all of my debts.

I want to be a person who regularly exercises, so I signed up to run my first marathon.

I want to eventually work in the media field, so I 5-4-3-2-1’d my way to saying YES to Toastmasters. Hopefully this experience will provide me with an opportunity to get more comfortable giving speeches and not filling the empty spaces with a gaggle of so’s and ummm’s.

In fact, I was a guest on my friend’s podcast last week and we spoke for over two hours about the journey that I’ve taken to become the person that I am today.

The anticipation leading up to the podcast was far worse than actually just doing it, much like this icebreaker speech. I now I have the self-confidence to know that I do have a story worth sharing, but first I need to build up my communication toolbox to prepare me for some of these bigger level 10 dreams, and that’s where Toastmasters and you all come in.

Thank you for being a part of my journey!