My lust is to more than simply wander

From the archives - Written September 2015 from Takahagi, Japan - Same thoughts, different day.

I didn’t apply to the JET Program as a one to five year detour to figure out what I really want to do with my life. I have been fortunate to have had some fantastic learning opportunities after college, including serving as an AmeriCorps*VISTA at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, earning my Master of Education at Oregon State University, and working full-time as an administrator at a private university in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I easily could have continued enjoying the lifestyle that comes with working in higher education and living in a city with people that I loved, but I felt like something was missing.

I am admittedly quite the nomad and get bored after being in one place for more than a few years, but something just didn’t feel right about the life that I was living. I was volunteering several days a week with fantastic organizations, outwardly passionate about many issues in my community, working three jobs that spiced up the daily routine, while surrounded by my hilarious and kind friends, but the desk job became trying, the winters unbearable, and the stability that I was always told I needed was just no longer something I desired once I finally had it.

Sure, being able to pay your bills on time and visit the doctor when something comes up is great, but knowing that my teeth would be cleaned every six months just wasn’t going to get me through the day…and that was just it, I was waking up to get through the day.

What tasks or projects could I take on that would take up enough time until I was able to go and do what I really wanted to do with my time?

The thing is, on paper, my last job was my dream job. I consider myself a servant leader, someone who leads through the service of others. I have devoted my life to service and civic engagement and for the past few years, have dedicated my academic studies and career to these passions as well. However, I quickly found that sitting behind my computer screen in my ivory tower only disconnected me from the real reason I love service so much and that was direct, hands-on, one-on-one interactions with my community. A friendly email to a local volunteer coordinator was pleasant and appreciated, but it wasn’t filling the void that I was experiencing as I spent hours upon hours managing details of the blueprint instead of living out the project in real time.

Boots on the ground is an all too familiar saying in the non-profit world, but I really did miss witnessing the service projects first-hand, overhearing the genuine conversations between students and community members, watching something physically or philosophically be created in a day of service or a semester of service learning, and then reflecting on the lessons of the day together. I found that I looked forward to the end of the work day because that is when I was able to volunteer at the after-school program for African refugees or at the homeless shelter for teens.

I think, ultimately, we are all seeking some sort of purpose in our lives and leading nightly group sessions with temporarily homeless 13-17 year-olds gave me that sense of purpose more than anything ever had before. When I got home after a volunteer shift, I would stay up late brainstorming ways to turn working with homeless youth, abandoned animals, and adult English language learners into one career…and well, that answer never came, but I knew I needed a change.

I am by nature a mover and a shaker and I was slowly becoming a sitter and a stayer. I like to keep busy, stay active, and live out my enthusiasm for learning and life on a daily basis. So, here I am, living in a country that is completely new to me, with a grand total of 12 Japanese words in my vocabulary, and yet I am completely ready for this grand adventure.

Really, I can’t be anything but ready as I have been envisioning and craving this challenge for years. I often think about how my undergraduate career (International Studies/Latin American Studies degrees with study/work abroad experiences in Spain, New Zealand, England, and Guatemala) broadened my vision for what I can become in the world, but also destroyed any real ability that I may have otherwise had after graduation to contently sit still for a lifetime.

My lust is to more than simply wander, but to engulf myself in the culture of Japan by learning the language, befriending Japanese people, and doing as the Japanese do. At the beginning of the application process, I felt as if there was a magnetic force pulling me here for reasons that were completely unclear to me at the time (never studied the Japanese language or culture), but since my arrival, I know that there is nowhere else in the world I am meant to be right now. 

I am excited to share my stories with you as they have helped to make it all too clear the profound impact that Japan has already had on me. A small part of me hopes that if you are sitting idly by in a life that isn’t really yours, that my stories about life on the edge of my comfort zone will inspire you to be a magnet and let yourself fly to wherever the good energy takes you.